Juli Adams Pacific NW Artist

I carry a sketchbook with me because when I am trapped in a situation where I might become bored, I have my book. It's not that I feel like drawing all the time. It's more that I just can't sit still. A lot of the time I am tired of drawing. I would rather be doing housework or vacuuming my car. But the book feels good on my lap. I open it and smell its pages. I dig through my purse to find a pencil. I am drawing. Nothing interesting is happening. The critic in my head is saying "Who wants to see that? This is child's play. You must get serious about this. Art is serious business." The little crease on my brow gets deeper.

But then I draw what might be a little girl with devil's horns. She is holding a little dog. He has devil's horns, too. her contours are perfect. She is accidental and relaxed; stoic and prim. She is a simple sketch that I will keep because later in my studio, I will need something to work on. Something to get started.

My studio is the size of a show. But it is a perfect little room to create in. There are canvases stacked on one side of my desk. They are all empty. But I am driven to work. I am convinced that I will get past the fear, the stomachache, the worry butterflies. But I keep working. I am after what is in my guts. What I know the moment before I fall asleep...that the second I let go, what comes out of me will be right. What comes out might be funny, it might be disturbing. My business is to let it out, to pay attention and learn so that I become fluent in my own language.

I don't believe in artist's block. Working for me, is a process. It is a relationship with myself. It is always growing, shifting, giving, and taking. It demands that I pay attention to myself and to the world. What other kind of job can possibly be that for me? None other. Ever.

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